How to Not Stop Barking

Below I have compiled a few tips on how to not get your dog to stop barking, either at the front window or the front door. These tips are based on very scientific research and thoroughly tested hypotheses. I hope you find them of some use, so that you learn what may not work for you and your canine doorbells.

Tip #1: Do not think that you can out-yell your dog. Attempting to yell over your dog, as if your voice can somehow top theirs, is a bad idea–one that is sure to only lead to a pained throat and a lot of frustration, none of which will have affected your dog’s countenance at all.

Tip #2: Do not use a worthless treat (i.e. carrots for my two) to try and distract your dog from whatever has caught their attention outside. In the immortal words of many trainers, make sure to use a “high-value” treat (i.e. hot dog, cheese for my two) to lure your dog away from said window or door.

Tip #3: Do not attempt to physically remove your dog from the front window or front door. It is pretty impossible, in my case, to move my two behemoths, both who weigh in at over 70 lbs, away from the front door or window when they see something worthy of their barking skills. Attempting such a physical act is a surefire way to only increase your own frustration, and I’m sure it is already up because you did not listen to Tip #1.

Tip #4: Do not use a spray bottle if your dog loves water. Since your dog loves water, much like my own Simon does, spraying them with the liquid substance will do absolutely nothing. Even adding vinegar or lemon juice, things dogs are not supposed to like but are not harmful to them, may produce no promising results either if you also have a dog that loves everything.

Tip #5: Do not listen to anyone else when it comes to dealing with your dog. You know your dog better than anyone else, seeing as you spend the most time with him or her, so only you can decide what is the best way to try to stop your dog’s barking (or any other problem behavior). Find out what your dog likes and doesn’t like, what he or she responds to, and go from there.

And don’t be upset if nothing works to completely rid your dog of its barking tendencies. Barking is what a dog does, to try and stop it completely would be like trying to take away a person’s voice, cruel and strange. Even after working with Rosee for over a year she still barks at the kids who walk past our house every afternoon when school lets out, and you know what? Those kids have learned to ignore her. I’m so proud of them.

So here’s to all the barking dogs that exist in the world today, because believe me you’ll miss it when it’s gone.

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